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Asked Quotes by Jack Handey
- My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our…
- If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I…
- One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the…
- I wish I lived on a planet that had two suns-regular sun and "rogue" sun. That way, when somebody asked me what time it was,…
- I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling…
- When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me,…
- I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a…
- Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real dirty windshield; so…
- If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadores came up to you and asked where the gold was, I…
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