« All America Quotes · Jay Leno's Page
America Quotes by Jay Leno
- We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards?
- As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own apartment.
- President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed.
- Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America.
- America needs ObamaCare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
- America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms. I can see why: you got computer sex,…
- CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she…
- For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now…
- In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.
- Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
- They always say the Miss America Pageant isn`t a beauty contest, it`s really a scholarship program. If that`s the case, why don`t we just put…
- Isn't it a little ironic here? We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues.…
- Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averagewhich means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
More America Quotes
- I guess I wanted to leave America for awhile. It wasn't that I wanted to become an expatriate, or just never come… — Paul Auster
- What is going on in America is extreme. The youth cult, they worship youth so much it's almost paranoid. And LA is… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- My Latin temper blows up pretty fast, but it goes down just as fast. Maybe that's why you seldom hear of ulcers… — Desi Arnaz
- When bright young minds can't afford college, America pays the price. — Arthur Ashe
- Today, the Iraqi citizen sees that America is coming and wants to occupy his country and kill him, and he is willing… — Bashar al-Assad
- Is there an equality of power between America and Iraq? Definitely not; however, the Iraqi people are standing fast and are defending… — Bashar al-Assad
- There's no lack of writers writing novels in America, about America. Therefore, it seems to me it would be wasteful for me… — Chinua Achebe
- God bless the USA, so large, so friendly, and so rich. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- You know there are no secrets in America. It's quite different in England, where people think of a secret as a shared… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- A tremendous number of people in America work very hard at something that bores them. Even a rich man thinks he has… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- It's frightening how easy it is to commit murder in America. Just a drink too much. I can see myself doing it.… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- If I can procure three hundred good substantial names of persons, or bodies, or institutions, I cannot fail to do well for… — John James Audubon