All Ogden Nash Quotes
- A dog's best friend is his illiteracy. Best
- Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. Admit
- Miranda in Miranda's sight is old, gray and dirty; Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty. Dirty
- Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. Children
- The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so… Clever
- How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did… Bachelor
- Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb. Clever
- When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not… Born
- Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. Example
- Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. Analyze
- Time is like the ocean, always there, always different. Always Different
- Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. Dafter
- Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways. Bath
- To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits. Best
- An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he… Best
- Too much Chablis can make you whablis. Chablis
- I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance. All
- The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath. Best
- I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers. Belittle
- In the world of mules there are no rules. Horse
- There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think… Begin
- How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge! Bulge
- I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving… Agree
- Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything… Brief
- Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world. Best