Best Groucho Marx Lines
- But what makes wage slaves? Wages! Inspiration
- Budget: a way of going broke methodically Broke
- Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy Anybody
- A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it Animal
- It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going. Change
- In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two… Addition
- Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him… Accused
- Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and… Babies
- I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue) Avenue
- Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor. Always Greener
- He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is.… Absolutely
- Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. Become Members
- My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed. Bed
- To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx. Asinine
- I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't… Arrived
- Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. Anti Political
- Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Best
- I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Any
- Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Anyone
- I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Case
- A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Beer
- Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. Classic
- The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Crazy
- All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. Alike
- A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Animal
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