False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence. — Dov Davidoff Confidence Copy Share Image
It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance. — Dov Davidoff Constitution Copy Share Image
I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably. — Dov Davidoff Aim Copy Share Image
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship. — Dov Davidoff Gay Copy Share Image
I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again. — Dov Davidoff Appreciate Copy Share Image
A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment. — Dov Davidoff Communication Copy Share Image
I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to… — Dov Davidoff Attracted Copy Share Image
The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt. — Dov Davidoff Ability Copy Share Image
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was… — Dov Davidoff Bedroom Copy Share Image
Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money. — Dov Davidoff Be proud Copy Share Image
I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time. — Dov Davidoff Ifs Copy Share Image
When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in… — Dov Davidoff Angry Copy Share Image
There must be 15 shows about people's jobs: 'Ice Road Trucker,' 'Axe Men,' 'Dirty Jobs.' Unemployment is so high, we're watching people… — Dov Davidoff Dirty Copy Share Image
Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness. — Dov Davidoff Adrenaline Copy Share Image
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you. — Dov Davidoff Girl Copy Share Image
Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny. — Dov Davidoff Comedy Copy Share Image
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not… — Dov Davidoff Awful Copy Share Image
Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick… — Dov Davidoff Admire Copy Share Image
Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms. — Dov Davidoff Choosing sides Copy Share Image
A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend. — Dov Davidoff Dating Copy Share Image
If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're… — Dov Davidoff Close friends Copy Share Image
Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one. — Dov Davidoff Existence Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first… — Dov Davidoff Causes Copy Share Image
Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on… — Dov Davidoff Enough Copy Share Image
I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my… — Dov Davidoff Economy Copy Share Image
If I were a gynecologist, I'd say things like, Okay, enough of the small talk. Let's check under the hood. — Dov Davidoff Checks Copy Share Image
Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it… — Dov Davidoff Awful Copy Share Image
If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie. — Dov Davidoff Cream Copy Share Image
Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's. — Dov Davidoff Band Copy Share Image
Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw… — Dov Davidoff Dating Copy Share Image
America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to… — Dov Davidoff America Copy Share Image
The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving… — Dov Davidoff Aging Copy Share Image
If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high… — Dov Davidoff Athletic Copy Share Image
I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it. — Dov Davidoff Difficult Copy Share Image
Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around… — Dov Davidoff Animal Copy Share Image
I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know… — Dov Davidoff Clubs Copy Share Image
Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place. — Dov Davidoff Celibacy Copy Share Image
I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to… — Dov Davidoff Decided Copy Share Image
If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon. — Dov Davidoff Ifs Copy Share Image
