Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going. — Dov Davidoff Asking Copy Share Image
I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots. — Dov Davidoff Acting Copy Share Image
Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you. — Dov Davidoff Marriage Copy Share Image
White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one. — Dov Davidoff Busy Copy Share Image
Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a… — Dov Davidoff Boxes Copy Share Image
Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great. — Dov Davidoff Iphone Copy Share Image
Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress. — Dov Davidoff Comedy Copy Share Image
Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to… — Dov Davidoff Ifs Copy Share Image
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are. — Dov Davidoff Figures Copy Share Image
Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them. — Dov Davidoff Animal Copy Share Image
The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache. — Dov Davidoff Bunch Copy Share Image
Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason. — Dov Davidoff Negative Copy Share Image
Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in… — Dov Davidoff Animal Copy Share Image
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour. — Dov Davidoff Glamour Copy Share Image
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy. — Dov Davidoff Health Copy Share Image
Saying, have a great work-out is like saying, I hope you pull something. — Dov Davidoff Fitness Copy Share Image
Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom. — Dov Davidoff Crocodiles Copy Share Image
Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death. — Dov Davidoff Death Copy Share Image
Sex sells, but doesn't work so well as a strong-arm tactic. Give me your purse or I'll make out with you so… — Dov Davidoff Arms Copy Share Image
I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped. — Dov Davidoff Children Copy Share Image
The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine. — Dov Davidoff Atm Copy Share Image
Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it. — Dov Davidoff Herpes Copy Share Image
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect… — Dov Davidoff Behave Copy Share Image
