All Dane Cook Quotes
- When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like,… Act
- Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time. Cab
- I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin! English
- I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody. Everybody
- Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote. Funny
- It was peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And you knew peace was coming because the priest… Ate
- On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No… Actor
- When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love on like the same day - even Karen the… Bag
- There's estrogen running through my veins! Estrogen
- When you don't have love, it is like there's a party going on and everybody was invited except for you ... and you just happen… Everybody
- When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start… Bleed
- I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on… Ah
- I say God bless you, I don't say bless you ... I am not the Lord, I can't do that. Bless
- When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true. Funny
- I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found… Dead
- What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone. Adventure
- Start each day out the holy way..with Christ Chex, it's a miracle in a bowl. Just open the box and you hear AHHHHH....and then a… Ahhhhh
- Every time you come in from cheating on someone, they'll just whip out the most adorable term of endearment. Like, they'll wake up, bright and… Adorable
- Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win. Feel
- Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity. Insanity