Dane Cook Quotes

101 quotes in 1258 categories

• I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
• I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
• I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.
• Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
• My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.'
• The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.
• Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone…
• When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
• Here's the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if you mail it…
• I do try to keep my show very improvisational. I don't work off a set list; I like to keep it more in the moment.…
• I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website…
• We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments. When you're headed for a breakthrough moment, it's kind of scary because you say, 'If I break through…
• When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have…
• When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone…
• I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember…
• I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when…
• I had the humble beginnings. I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a…
• My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
• In the year 3000, everything will be instant.
• People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

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