Dane Cook Quotes
- My leftovers are delicious. Just ask the ex girlfriends new boyfriend.
- I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
- To make boxing training more exciting my trainer dresses as a ninja and yells, 'Ive never felt pain like this!! Who is this human!?'
- How great if, as well as creating life in their womb, a woman could use her vagina to make hot fudge sundaes.
- It's easy to point the finger at someone else & place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone & start blame placing the…
- You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.
- Ive been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
- Its an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesnt know you exist.
- Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. Thats when guys get all TBS around you because we think its very funny.
- I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.
- I won't take no for a question.
- I just mixed a 5 hour energy drink with some sleepy time tea. Let's see who wins this battle.
- Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
- If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If…
- Some girls look beautiful with no makeup on at all. I call them lazy. Now go throw some war paint on you bleak empty canvas…
- I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
- Dear girl seductively sucking a lollipop in her pics. WE GET IT. It's a c*ck. A yummy peen. Too nail on the head.
- When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father…
- I'm really great in other peoples relationships.
- Let's just turn off the lights and play a game called whos In My Mouth?