All Bill Maher Quotes
- One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time. Advantage
- If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian. Auditing
- Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that. Candidates
- To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity. Always Looks
- The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough. Better
- ...what I love about Ann Coulter is that she's sort of the-she's sort of a version of myself in that she absolutely never pulls a… Absolutely
- I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than we killed during… Civilians
- Heroin may be bad, but it sure as hell hasn't hurt my CD collection. Addiction
- Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story. Community
- What is "martinizing" and why does it only take one hour? Doe
- The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy. Altar
- All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. All
- Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't… Behind
- Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if… Asexual
- Catholicism has changed tremendously in recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar. Bar
- Treason is when legislators vote against homeland security measures because it goes against the wishes of their political or financial backers. Treason is the fact… Backers
- I'm not a joiner. I don't like organizations. Funny
- Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss. All
- If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone. Bank
- The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed. Dating