Hillary Clinton is making income inequality a central theme in her campaign. Yeah, for example, today she pointed out that her husband… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Time magazine announced its person of the year. It's health workers who treat Ebola. That's a person of the year. Time magazine… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the Year 2000 the discovery of extraterrestrial life will create a revolution in science, art, and pornography. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
This year's Olympics will be replacing the women's beach volleyball bikinis with uniforms that are less revealing. The stricter dress code was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Russia has named Vladimir Putin its man of the year for the 15th year in a row. Putin got 143 million votes… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here's the bad news. You just wasted it listening to this joke. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the Year 2000 men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs... is to make out. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
California's 74-year-old Senator Barbara Boxer announced she will not run for re-election in 2016. When I saw the headline '74-Year-Old Boxer,' I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Health officials are saying the number of measles cases that originated in Disneyland continues to grow. Which is why this year after… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton has reportedly accepted Barack Obama's offer to become secretary of state. That's what they're saying in the New York Times.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is trying an entirely different approach with Iowa than the one she tried eight years ago when she lost there.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
