Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't believe it's already ummm yeah whatever month of the whatever year this is! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I once dated a woman who owned a dog. The thing would never shut the fuck up. The dog was cool though. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a ritual which should be written (o cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's questions… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons Naughty girls unbutton… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't always tweet when I'm drunk, but when I do, it's when I'm visiting my family. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified because she was married to a president for eight years. Now let me ask you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
PARTNERSHIP, A legal fiction exactly like marriage, but without the major benefits — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
