“How quickly pettiness returns, and that most ignoble form of real estate, the possessive occupation and tyranny over two square inches of… — Leonard Cohen Copy Share Image
It could be worse," he said finally. "Efrenia married an arsonist. Jake's wife is a kleptomaniac. I suppose, a psychopathic spree killer… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I dated a guy and he liked me but I didn't like him. I went through his wardrobe and cleaned out his… — Patti Stanger Copy Share Image
Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: You become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.)… — Philip Yancey Copy Share Image
I was just working in the shop and all of a sudden something just triggered in me, and I started shaking. And… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I saw your wife the other day and she is ugly. I know, but she sure can cook. — Jimmy Soul Copy Share Image
Me and my wife have been on the same kind of routine since we got married, man. Just praying together in the… — Chris Harris, Jr Copy Share Image
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Prince William's pregnant wife, Kate Middleton, is past her due date. Doctors may have to induce labor. To speed up the birth,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
You might, from your appearance, be the wife of Lucifer,” said Miss Pross, in her breathing. “Nevertheless, you shall not get the… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Horses (thou say'st) and asses men may try, And ring suspected vessels ere they buy; But wives, a random choice, untried they… — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
I love animals. When I was young, I had two St. Bernards, I still have a dog, I have a lot of… — Jackie Chan Copy Share Image
More free time means more time to waste. The worker who used to have only a little time in which to get… — Robert M. Hutchins Copy Share Image
And, to all married men, be this a caution, Which they should duly tender as their life, Neither to doat too much,… — Philip Massinger Copy Share Image
The fact is that my wife if she had common sense would have more power over me than any other whatsoever, for… — Lord Byron Copy Share Image
There's a current notion that you should "take charge of your disease." No thanks. I'm busy. I've got cancer. I'm willing to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm definitely the most tech-savvy in my family. My wife wouldn't have a clue, as far as getting the computer working. All… — Chris O'Donnell Copy Share Image
I'm not going to tell you I know George W. Bush intimately. I'm not going to tell you we're best friends. I'll… — Bernie Sanders Copy Share Image
I think I'm a really good girlfriend, and I think that I could be a really good wife. I know that I… — Jennifer Love Hewitt Copy Share Image
Husbands are often more affected by the lack of words their wives speak, than by all nagging in the world.. — Nushra Copy Share Image
I'm done with the shows about "women got murdered by husband." My wife watches them constantly, but it makes me want to… — Billy Lawrence Copy Share Image
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I spend my time with my family, with my wife, my two little boys and my sister. — Edouard Mendy Copy Share Image
(Phillipians 3:14) No Lots wife here. No looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah here. Paul knows it is out there in the… — Jeffrey R. Holland Copy Share Image
Does a soldier go to war in order to kill the enemy? no, he goes in order to die for his country.… — Paulo Coelho Copy Share Image
One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
We all know people who have worse fates. What do I have to complain about for Christ's sake? I have a beautiful… — Alan Sparhawk Copy Share Image
If you take most men aside when their wives are pregnant, most men are pretty frightened and worried and faintly disgusted by… — Steven Moffat Copy Share Image
I want to tell you about a woman I have been married to for ten years, my wife, Ann, who speaking truthfully,… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
There is nothing a man of good sense dreads in a wife so much as her having more sense than himself. — Henry Fielding Copy Share Image
Real art, like the wife of an affectionate husband, needs no ornaments. But counterfeit art, like a prostitute, must always be decked… — Leo Tolstoy Copy Share Image
I do have a Viking axe by the bed if I need to whack someone... My wife bought me a Viking axe… — Mike Leach Copy Share Image
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap!… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Listen to the lyrics - we're singing about everyday life: rich people trying to keep money, poor people tying to get it,… — Buddy Guy Copy Share Image
I'd love to have my own TV show, in the way that Julianna Margulies has 'The Good Wife,' or a lovely ensemble… — Lara Pulver Copy Share Image
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
