ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
