You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Newt Gingrich was campaigning at a zoo this week and he was bitten by a penguin. Newt Gingrich is always campaigning at… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Last week John McCain said the fundamentals of our economy are strong. This week, he said it's the worst crisis since World… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
