Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
