A Woman Never Say: Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don't have to mess with it… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm always so confused when I see a toilet seat up in the ladies restroom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Its okay Ginny. Don't be upset. We'll send you a toilet seat or something. Fred and George said to Ginny” — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
You learn a lot about people when you're sitting on their bathroom floor or on their toilet seat, rifling through their stuff. — Emily Weiss Copy Share Image
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I wish the men in my house would be a little more courteous and put the toilet seat down. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Just pissed with a boner and didn't get any on the toilet seat.' Said no one ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you go into a stall and there is no toilet seat protector, so you use toilet paper and then… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We imagine much more appropriately an artisan on his toilet seat or on his wife than a great president, venerable by his… — Michel de Montaigne Copy Share Image
“Dr. Frank Daschner once infuriated his colleagues by declaring: "You can sit on any toilet seat without the least risk, but don't,… — Edward Tenner Copy Share Image
“He kissed my cheek. “Don’t worry I’m far from perfect. Ask my mom. I can never remember to put the toilet seat… — Micalea Smeltzer Copy Share Image
“Well. He's a very sensitive boy. He's really never been a terribly good mixer with other boys...' Sensitive. That killed me. That… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
“That was one thing about dating a warrior, she supposed. He wouldn’t get mad if she wanted to beat him up for… — Emma Alisyn Copy Share Image
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Beanfest also holds the Great Arkansas Championship Outhouse Race in which teams from Arkansas and states as far as Louisiana and Missouri… — Patricia Schultz Copy Share Image
“What strikes me,” Sarah continued, “is that men are such savages—they don’t fold their clothes, they pee on the toilet seat, they… — Tom Rachman Copy Share Image
“Finally, I found what seemed at the time to be a lid of some sort. Presuming it was a toilet seat (but… — Dave Mustaine Copy Share Image
I don't think the press has done a very good job dealing with government spending.The Defense Department with the $9,500 toilet seat,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There is an apocalyptic view to this that is actually kind of appealing, which is the only way to kill big government… — Greg Gutfeld Copy Share Image
“Gram?” I asked. “You okay?” “Damn men,” she said. “I fell in the toilet.” I busted out laughing. Tears of laughter coursed… — Micalea Smeltzer Copy Share Image
“So...I'm going to ask you again, babe. Stay with me. Stay with me here in my house. It's only a five minute… — Courtney Cole Copy Share Image
“Save for the fit of bizarre laughter at the end, the man seems so calm, sensible, rational. Duffy wishes he met more… — Alex Kudera Copy Share Image
I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat. — Nate Dogg Copy Share Image
Amazing Home Remedies: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Psychiatry's chief contribution to philosophy is the discovery that the toilet is the seat of the soul. — Alexander Chase Copy Share Image
Leaving hairs on a toilet seat is like a little gift, from one ass to another. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The worst part about shitting in a public restroom, is when the tip of your dick touches the toilet seat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Great April Fools prank: put a piece of bubble-wrap under the toilet seat so when your victim sits they are surprised by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've spiked a toilet seat before, a gallon of milk, even eggs. If you say it, I've probably spiked it before. — Rob Gronkowski Copy Share Image
When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat. — Zach Anner Copy Share Image
You're asking the government to control individual morality. This is a government that can't buy a toilet seat for under $600. — Peter McWilliams Copy Share Image
I believe your friends Mr. Fred and George Weasly tried to send you a toilet seat. — Harry Potter - Albus Dumbledore Copy Share Image
“What do you see in him anyway?” “He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up.” I smiled bitterly” — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
I have always stated I designed the stadium as a toilet seat. I don't care if this is a great cultural event… — Ai Weiwei Copy Share Image
I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
All that matters to me is the man in front of me right now. (Tory) I’m not a man, Soteria. (Acheron) I… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
You can always use a toilet seat cover from the stall. It will absorb excess oil, and if you add powder on… — Manny MUA Copy Share Image
Now, as husbands go, I have to admit I did all right. Joe is unquestionably handsome, doesn't leave ragged toenail clippings scattered… — Jenna McCarthy Copy Share Image
