Each civilization may choose one of two roads to travel, that is, either fret itself to death, or pet itself to death.… — Stanislaw Lem Copy Share Image
“So you killed him with what now?" "I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet… — Jesse Petersen Copy Share Image
When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat. — Zach Anner Copy Share Image
Leaving hairs on a toilet seat is like a little gift, from one ass to another. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
'Just pissed with a boner and didn't get any on the toilet seat.' Said no one ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“What strikes me,” Sarah continued, “is that men are such savages—they don’t fold their clothes, they pee on the toilet seat, they… — Tom Rachman Copy Share Image
“Beanfest also holds the Great Arkansas Championship Outhouse Race in which teams from Arkansas and states as far as Louisiana and Missouri… — Patricia Schultz Copy Share Image
“Well. He's a very sensitive boy. He's really never been a terribly good mixer with other boys...' Sensitive. That killed me. That… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
Im shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I wont sit on a toilet seat on… — Farrah Fawcett Copy Share Image
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
We imagine much more appropriately an artisan on his toilet seat or on his wife than a great president, venerable by his… — Michel de Montaigne Copy Share Image
“What do you see in him anyway?” “He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up.” I smiled bitterly” — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
If you want to play a cool punk club, that's great - but punk clubs don't have any toilet seats. After a… — Joe Casey Copy Share Image
Eric Schmidt looks innocent enough, with his watercolor blue eyes and his tiny office full of toys and his Google campus stocked… — Maureen Dowd Copy Share Image
“she was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat:” — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“At the back of the yard, tufted with grass like sparse hair on a balding head, is a weathered gray shed with… — Christina Baker Kline Copy Share Image
“Gram?” I asked. “You okay?” “Damn men,” she said. “I fell in the toilet.” I busted out laughing. Tears of laughter coursed… — Micalea Smeltzer Copy Share Image
You're asking the government to control individual morality. This is a government that can't buy a toilet seat for under $600. — Peter McWilliams Copy Share Image
I have always stated I designed the stadium as a toilet seat. I don't care if this is a great cultural event… — Ai Weiwei Copy Share Image
You know it's true love when you find youself saying sweet things you never imagined you'd say like baby, I warmed the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I wouldn't go against Reggie and actively encourage Zoe to move in, but I think she and I would do okay together.… — Bill Condon Copy Share Image
“The closest my penis has come to my sexy coworker’s vagina, is piss splatters on the toilet seat at the office.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Great April Fools prank: put a piece of bubble-wrap under the toilet seat so when your victim sits they are surprised by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Thou may leave the toilet seat up. But thou shalt not leave the toilet seat down and pee on it.” — Jenna Jameson Copy Share Image
