I Believe your friends Mr. Fred and George Weasley tried to send you a toilet seat. — JK Rowling Copy Share Image
I only got a toilet seat cushion so my face would be comfortable after an intense night of drinking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“The closest my penis has come to my sexy coworker’s vagina, is piss splatters on the toilet seat at the office.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Thou may leave the toilet seat up. But thou shalt not leave the toilet seat down and pee on it.” — Jenna Jameson Copy Share Image
Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat. — J. D. Salinger Copy Share Image
“she was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat:” — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
You know it's true love when you find youself saying sweet things you never imagined you'd say like baby, I warmed the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on… — Farrah Fawcett Copy Share Image
“I always lift both lids of the toilet seat before I pee. Then I sit down while tinkling. If you think that’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Bad writing is not easier than good writing. It's just as hard to make a toilet seat as it is a castle… — Ben Hecht Copy Share Image
I flew back just in time to pick up a toilet seat for my girlfriend. It didn't go over that well. I… — Ben Affleck Copy Share Image
“There is no doubt that inner beauty is more important that outer appearance, but that doesn’t mean that your physical appearance is… — Charbel Tadros Copy Share Image
“So you killed him with what now?" "I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet… — Jesse Petersen Copy Share Image
Im shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I wont sit on a toilet seat on… — Farrah Fawcett Copy Share Image
I used to throw stuff out of the window and trash hotel rooms - and superglue all the drawers shut and superglue… — Joe Walsh Copy Share Image
“ Gains There is no man in the house that I have to try to make happy. There are no more arguments,… — Suzanne Finnamore Copy Share Image
“In the bathroom two water tumblers were sealed in cellophane sacks with the words: "These glasses are sterilized for your protection." Across… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
Eric Schmidt looks innocent enough, with his watercolor blue eyes and his tiny office full of toys and his Google campus stocked… — Maureen Dowd Copy Share Image
“I wouldn't go against Reggie and actively encourage Zoe to move in, but I think she and I would do okay together.… — Bill Condon Copy Share Image
Each civilization may choose one of two roads to travel, that is, either fret itself to death, or pet itself to death.… — Stanislaw Lem Copy Share Image
“One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
Online, you're providing each other with the good aspects of being together as far as communication and support, but you don't have… — Nev Schulman Copy Share Image
“I am plenty romantic. Just this morning while he slept, I had left Carter a box of his favorite candy next to… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“you must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face you must hide the surprise of tasting other men on your… — Warsan Shire Copy Share Image
“I'm up for a Shadow hunt." She tries to let us out, but the lock's stuck. "That's weird." "Is this like an… — Cath Crowley Copy Share Image
“At the back of the yard, tufted with grass like sparse hair on a balding head, is a weathered gray shed with… — Christina Baker Kline Copy Share Image
“If you were trying to startle us half to death, you succeeded,” she told him as she closed the distance between them.… — Lindsey Brookes Copy Share Image
“I can’t function here anymore. I mean in life: I can’t function in this life. I’m no better off than when I… — Ned Vizzini Copy Share Image
“Mila, that day ,in your shop almost crushed me. When you said no to me, I didn't know if I would survive… — Courtney Cole Copy Share Image
“He followed her into the bathroom and sat on the shut toilet seat while she washed her back with a brush. "I… — John Cheever Copy Share Image
In politics, you're like a toilet seat: you're up one day and down the next. — Doug Ford Copy Share Image
