Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
The difference between the first time I read something and the tenth time I read something is generally pretty profound. Even if… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I wanted it, I wanted it, I wanted it, but the moment it was mine, it ceased to interest me.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“He has a point there, that’s harsh. Unfortunately, they never gave him a medal for it and as a result he brings… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“She lit a cigarette and spent a moment identifying with the smoldering match.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I had no job at the time and was living off the cruel joke I referred to as my savings.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“For the first time in memory, I was unable to sleep not because I was anxious but because I was excited. To… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I think we’ve both seen this coming for a long… time. The only question left is… what are we going to do… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It's astonishing the amount of time that certain straight people devote to gay sex - trying to determine what goes where and… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have what we in France call ‘good time teeth,’” she said. “Why on earth would you want to change them?” “Um,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful that is, how it twists… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'm friends with a lot of writers and so many of them say how much they hate signings and how they leave… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I think about death all the time, but only in a romantic, self-serving way, beginning, most often, with my tragic illness and… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I spend so much time like living in the past or the future. I mean, I think most people do, really. And… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In New York I'd go to the movies three or four times a week. Here I've upped it to six or seven,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I think it's good to have the alone time. Well, I kind of have to, because I have to be alone in… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I wanted it, I wanted, I wanted, but the moment it was mine, it ceased to interest me.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It’s not lost on me that I’m so busy recording life, I don’t have time to really live it. I’ve become like… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
