EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
