“Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably out… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed .… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
