OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked "Unknown," and sometimes it occurs that one… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
