Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In People magazine, Madonna said her life has been exhausting since she started her world tour. She said there isn't a second… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? ...… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don't send cruise missiles. He should send over some of his economic… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
U.N. officials said today they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they're having a hard time getting… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You know what would be better? Arnold… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The United States military is now using the music of Metallica and other heavy metal bands to break the will of Saddam… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should do?… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he is going to run for governor on our program last night. My staff didn't know, Arnold's staff… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Arabic accent. You know, maybe CBS… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama announced his new economic team. You know what he should do? Hire those people who were in charge… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
House Speaker John Boehner says President Obama should have clearly outlined his exact plans before bombing Libya. Apparently it's only Iraq where… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We should make politicians dress like race car drivers -- when they get money, make them wear the company logos on their… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
