Worms'-Meat, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“TRUTH, n.: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
