POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket...” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
