RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
