As I’m fond of saying, if you want to find utopia, take a sharp right on money and a sharp left on… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Performers have the right to say what they want to, and anyone paying money has the right to accept or reject the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Having a Hummer is stupid. It's stupid to waste that much gas. It's stupid to waste that much money on gas. It's… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
People still seem to think that they should vote themselves money. They seem to think there is stuff which they think is… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
The First Amendment says nothing about your getting paid for saying anything. It just says you can say it. I don't believe… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
This is going to sound horrible, but I don't even know how much I make in a year. It must be, you… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
“What I have a problem with is not so much religion or god, but faith. When you say you believe something in your heart… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
That whole 99% thing, they are all in the 1% of the world. Every one of them pays a cellphone bill that is the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm not bothered by the idea of getting old, or I guess you could say by having arrived at old. I was 10 when… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.' — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
The only secret of magic is that I'm willing to work harder on it than you think it's worth. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Well, it's not really the right word, but freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
