If you are doing something for reward or punishment, you do not have morality. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If entertainment ran grocery stores, we'd NEVER get oil cured olives or blue cheese, it would be JUST Coke. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
In music, if you hit a wrong note, people forgive you. In magic when something goes wrong, the entire art is destroyed. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
As I’m fond of saying, if you want to find utopia, take a sharp right on money and a sharp left on… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If you've gotten yourself into a situation when Clay Aiken is going to talk about his feelings with you, it's time to… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell . . . how much do you have to hate somebody to believe… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If you can just convince the dope people that the gun people are right and the gun people that the dope people… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
So many people say, ‘You know, your taxes aren’t taken by force,’ and that’s foolish. If you don’t pay your taxes and… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
People need to be fed, medicated, educated, clothed, and sheltered, and if we're compassionate we'll help them, but you get no moral… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
The fact that the majority wants something good does not give them the right to use force on the minority that don't… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell and people could be going to hell—or not getting eternal life or whatever—and… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If the bible were published as fiction, no reviewer would give it a passing grade. There are some vivid scenes and quotable… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
“What I have a problem with is not so much religion or god, but faith. When you say you believe something in your heart… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
That whole 99% thing, they are all in the 1% of the world. Every one of them pays a cellphone bill that is the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm not bothered by the idea of getting old, or I guess you could say by having arrived at old. I was 10 when… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.' — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
The only secret of magic is that I'm willing to work harder on it than you think it's worth. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Well, it's not really the right word, but freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
