If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through 'Dancing with the Stars.' — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
You can't allow people freedom and then change your mind when the things don't go your way. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
You can't believe how pro-gay and pro-freedom-of-speech I am. I'm way out beyond anyone on the Left. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I don't travel in circles where people say, 'I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I believe the fast track to atheism is reading the Bible. I've read it three times all the way through. It's a… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
We have to fight for the freedom to be stupid, and smoking is one of the best ways to fight for your… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
My hair is way, way long. I've hitchhiked across the country a zillion times. I've ridden in every car. I was never… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
The best way to fight the terrorists is to have the freest country on earth. You should be able to get on… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Everybody wants clean, safe energy. Some people think nuclear is the way to go. Some people think coal is the way to… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I believe that the best way to become an atheist is to read the bible — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is way smarter than Bush - so way, way smarter than me. Obama is way more charismatic than me. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
My parents were teetotalers and my grandparents were - it's all the way back. It's New English puritanical tradition. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
My love of computers, besides being practical, is very direct and visceral. I love the way things look on the screen. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If you want to turn out an atheist child, unconditional love constantly is a good way to do it. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around. If you're looking for violent rape imagery, the Bible's right there in… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I am a huge fan of proselytizing. I am a huge fan of speaking your mind. The only way we can share… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I live in Vegas, and I see people by the side of the road with cardboard signs who seem like they might… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
You can't believe how pro gay and pro freedom of speech I am. I'm way out beyond anyone on the Left. And… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
When 9/11 hit, the second thing I said to myself was, 'This really is what religious people do.' Those people flying the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Building a professional relationship on respect as opposed to affection is a very good idea. Running your art projects the way you'd… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
“What I have a problem with is not so much religion or god, but faith. When you say you believe something in your heart… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
That whole 99% thing, they are all in the 1% of the world. Every one of them pays a cellphone bill that is the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm not bothered by the idea of getting old, or I guess you could say by having arrived at old. I was 10 when… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.' — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
The only secret of magic is that I'm willing to work harder on it than you think it's worth. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Well, it's not really the right word, but freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
