The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Thus the white men and Native Americans were able, through the spirit of goodwill and compromise, to reach the first in what… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm a humorist. A guy like Paul Simon just makes my life so much simpler. When I was there, he had a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The story of the eighties will be the story of the Reagan administration and the many men and women who served in… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Soviet Union at this time was being run by the Communists, a group of men fierce in their dedication to wearing… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
