the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You always hear about fashion's success stories. How a starlet lost an earring one night and by the next morning, the entire… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
