I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
