If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99%… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
