IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FRYING-PAN, n. One part of the penal apparatus employed in that punitive institution, a woman's kitchen. The frying-pan was invented by Calvin,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
