If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Hey Deion, Bubbelah - maybe you'd better pay a little less attention to those unfairly Draconian salary caps that only allowed you… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
