Jokes Quotes · Page 159

[Donald] Trump, he - you know, buy American, buy American, anti-free trade, and got big cheers. They're waving Russian flags, probably partly…

— Mark Shields

I kind of hate Halloween parties. I usually just go for the boos.

— Anonymous

We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. That's just a joke, for you in the media.

— Ann Coulter

Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut…

— Terry Pratchett

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

— Marty Feldman

All his leisure clothes were absurd - jokes, really - as though leisure itself had to be ridiculed.

— Edmund White

At MakerBot, we joke that if we were engineers we would still be on our first prototype. There's something about just 'Doing…

— Bre Pettis

“Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him.

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be…

— Tippi Hedren

Hey, I asked for ketchup - I'm eatin' salad here!

— Nikhil Saluja

The jokes now, it's just more stories and personal experiences. And just talking about things that really happened. It's just becoming more…

— Hannibal Buress

Mayorga tells a lot of jokes and stories, but he always comes up short.

— Shane Mosley

If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny,…

— Gilbert Gottfried

Every time a woman makes herself laugh at her husband's often-told jokes she betrays him. The man who looks at his woman…

— Germaine Greer

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.

— Frank Dane

I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it…

— Aziz Ansari

If you didn't believe in objective truth, arguments would be just toys, or games, or jokes.

— Peter Kreeft

I began as a true beginner, not knowing how to dance or perform. I just entered a local contest in town as…

— Debbie Reynolds

I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience.…

— Billy Connolly

Laughter... is like a hurricane: once it reaches a certain point, it becomes self-feeding, self-supporting. You laugh not because the jokes are…

— Stephen King

You cannot reduce the situation to worm jokes, Will. This is Gabriel and Gideon’s father we’re discussing.” “We’re not just discussing him;…

— Cassandra Clare

I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.

— Chelsea Handler

This is a collaboration between a complex analyst, a dynamical system expert, and an arithmetical algebraic geometer. It sounds like a joke,…

— Jordan Ellenberg

“I am a joke told again.”

— Charles Bukowski