Marty Feldman

The pen is mightier than the sword, and is considerably easier to write with.

— Marty Feldman

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

— Marty Feldman

I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

— Marty Feldman

It could be worse... It could be raining

— Marty Feldman

You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.

— Marty Feldman

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

— Marty Feldman

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

— Marty Feldman

Money can't buy poverty.

— Marty Feldman

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that…

— Marty Feldman

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

— Marty Feldman

Could be worse... Could be raining

— Marty Feldman

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

— Marty Feldman

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.

— Marty Feldman

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

— Marty Feldman

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

— Marty Feldman