“As my lawyer dad would say, I had breached a contract with the devil.” — Elle Casey Copy Share Image
“Yes, sir, there are things to see and do on the French Riviera without spending money.” — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
“I learned long ago that it is considered rude to vomit on your brother” — George R. R. Martin Copy Share Image
The essence of humour is surprise; that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch. — A. P. Herbert Copy Share Image
“Focus. She’s Maddie. Your friend. Would you eyeball Keith or Dane’s butt like that? ~ Zach” — Monique DeVere Copy Share Image
“Don't wash your brain with dettol, something useful may be lost.” — Vishal Salgotra Copy Share Image
Nixon is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech… — Adlai Stevenson Copy Share Image
“As one veteran Russian pilot dryly told me:"We have to be very careful flying in the clouds. Around here they are full… — Alan Hinkes Copy Share Image
It needs to said that Gerard Brennan's The Point is terrific. Scorchingly funny, black humour at its finest and the most inventive… — Arlene Hunt Copy Share Image
“I was convinced I had overdrawn my balance of good fortune; that whatever haphazard benevolence the impassive universe might hold towards me… — william boyd Copy Share Image
There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I asked him if he'd come to clean the windows and he said no he'd come to demolish the house. He didn't… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“It's amazing the stupid things I say sometimes. I mean, you could start an entire branch of scientific research about the stuff… — Tad Williams Copy Share Image
The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“She had been to her Great-Aunt Willoughby’s before, and she knew exactly what to expect. She would be asked about her lessons,… — E. Nesbit Copy Share Image
“Georges told me he would be back, and I have no reason to disbelieve him—but perhaps you’d like to sit down here… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“And as they drifter up their minds sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Thorn, Gardener, get it? More skeptical people tended to believe that the Thorn family simply named itself after their high position in… — Erica Lindquist Copy Share Image
“Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why,… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
“Its done.' Penteluck announced and scooped some onto a spoon for Zayne to drink. 'No chance, you first. You're already dead it… — Keisha Keenleyside Copy Share Image
“I should explain — in view of my last letter, you may find it slightly surprising — that Daphne and I are… — Sarah Caudwell Copy Share Image
“I rushed ahead until another girls' bathroom appeared. I pushed the door open, planning to leave Noah outside while I collected myself.… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“A brain the size of a pea, cannot achieve what a brain the size of a melon can!!” — Linda Gaine Copy Share Image
“You know you’re dealing with a numpty when her saving grace is that she didn’t help to cover up a murder.” — Rosen Trevithick Copy Share Image
So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet. — Sarah Dessen Copy Share Image
“Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“I suppose there are some advantages to this place,' he admitted. 'I bet it's fucking raining in Stirling.” — Christopher Brookmyre Copy Share Image
Love and a good sense of humour strengthen the entire body; remember your cells respond to your input. — Barbara Marciniak Copy Share Image
CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Thinking is one of the most important weapons in dealing with problems — Nelson Mandela Copy Share Image
The difference between a socks and a camera is that, A camera take photos and a socks hold 4 toes — Scott Japal Copy Share Image
“We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
There's such a unique humour in Wales that I just love and miss in Los Angeles. — Matthew Rhys Copy Share Image
“He was shaking so badly, we could have used him to make martinis for James Bond.” — Elizabeth George Copy Share Image
