“Jewish vampires: Crosses & holy water won’t hurt me whatcha gonna try next?” — Tasha Turner Copy Share Image
“Asshole," Ephraim muttered as he turned back around. Chris chuckeled. "Is that really any way to talk to your favorite child?" "You're… — R.L. Mathewson Copy Share Image
To go into acting is like asking for admission to an insane asylum. Anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are… — Michael Shurtleff Copy Share Image
“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
“They aint got no medication for pilgrims waitin to take the Sunset?” — Cormac McCarthy Copy Share Image
“Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“What did Finnick Odair want?” he asks. I turn and put my lips close to Peeta's and drop my eyelids in imitation… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
“her hips were having an argument with the upper half of her body as to who was to get more eye contact” — J.S. Mason Copy Share Image
The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
...it is not necessary to the child to awaken to the sense of the strange and humorous by giving a man a… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
“I once met an RAF pilot who told me of what he called a "bird strike". This, rather unfairly in my view,… — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You ask my advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture and if you must have motivation, think of your… — Noel Coward Copy Share Image
“McG: 11:39 PM: Tease. A: Bushy prehistoric looking veggies frighten me. Lilliana: 11:41 PM: WTH are we talking about here? McG: 11:42… — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
“You stick a bunch of drunken murderers together, ain't long before some turn to thieving, then to lying, then to bad language,… — Joe Abercrombie Copy Share Image
“Let me tell you something about me. I love vengeance like normal people love sunsets and long walks on the beach. I… — Laini Taylor Copy Share Image
The world's strongest animals are plant eaters. Gorillas, Buffaloes, Elephants and me. — Patrik Baboumian Copy Share Image
Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The thing about Black Eyed Peas is we're very humorous. All we do is laugh all day. — Taboo Copy Share Image
