Humor Quotes · Page 59

“If no one ever deviated from currently accepted mainstream Science - we would still have the Flat Earth Society!”

— Mary Nash Stoddard

“Okay, so when you get past all the cheeseburgers and video games, life's pretty stupid.”

— Amber heart

I want to be funny, but it has to be a believable funny.

— Kevin Hart

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to…

— Rashida Jones

Its true that laughter really is cheap medicine. Its a prescription anyone can afford. And best of all, you can fill it…

— Anonymous

I'm difficult to cast. In comedy, if there's a female character, usually written by a bloke, she's either the ditsy good-looking one,…

— Daisy May Cooper

It is commonly said that ridicule is the best test of truth; for that it will not stick where it is not…

— Lord Chesterfield

“Despite wearing a Rolex, I have no time.”

— Faraaz Kazi

I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until…

— Linda Ellerbee

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.

— Paul Merton

At sleepovers: Friends= Oh they're still sleeping, I'll just wait...Best Friends= Wake up b*tch, I'm hungry.

— Anonymous

Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be.

— Mignon McLaughlin

You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.

— Chris Rock

The purpose of the whole [the Comedy] and of this portion [the Paradiso] is to remove those who are living in this…

— Dante Alighieri

“Max replies, "Why the fuck n- Oh man, are you gettin' lucky?" I quickly do up Asher's jeans and stand. Max bursts…

— Belle Aurora

I believe in irony. And if V-Day has taught me anything, it's that if you go out with artistic, outrageous irony and…

— Eve Ensler

“I think about pearls. Pearls are congealed oyster spit.”

— Margaret Atwood

“I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven…

— R.J. Dennis

Ironically, there isn't much comedy film in Britain, which is quite surprising seeing that we're quite good at it.

— Alice Lowe

Tessa's hilarious. I think it's one of the things that gets overlooked because she's always so pulled together, but she has the…

— Scott Moir

I'm not a funny person, so why are you still here?

— Obsidian Panther

“A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a…

— Rolf Dobelli

“I kept trying to explain and he kept shouting until I began to cry from frustration. Then he felt remorseful, which was…

— Mary Ann Shaffer

That's sort of what I wanted to make fun of a little bit with Don Jon. And I think oftentimes, if you're…

— Joseph Gordon-Levitt

“ 'We cannot decide,' the Witness for the Treasury said. 'We are sorry, but it is the truth.' 'May we suggest that…

— Katherine Addison