DAUGHTER what is marriage: MOM: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much... ...Monogamy ? It's the same. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were. — Mort Sahl Copy Share Image
Marriage is like retiring as a bachelor and getting a sexual pension. You don't have to work for the sex any more,… — Aristotle Copy Share Image
Every man sees his second mother in his wife but every woman sees her first child in her husband. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I always said if I ever get married, I would tell my woman - I love Michael Jordan, I am a Michael… — Aries Spears Copy Share Image
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
The Equal Rights Amendment would "turn holy wedlock into holy deadlock." — William Rehnquist Copy Share Image
I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about? — Gracie Allen Copy Share Image
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
When a married man talks in his sleep, it's because he finally has the opportunity to say something without the wife interrupting… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people tell me they've learned from experience, I tell them the trick is to learn from other people's experience. — Warren Buffett Copy Share Image
Professional marriage counselors agree that the most productive and mature way to deal with marital anger is to stomp dramatically from the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. — Jefferson Machamer Copy Share Image
