The awkward moment when Justin Bieber's entire childhood was recorded and I can't even find a video of my first birthday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who ever says words can't hurt you has never got hit in the face with a dictionary! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always eat 10 more cookies than what I intentionally want to eat. — Matt Pangilinan Copy Share Image
My give a fuck button totally failed to commence operation this morning..so, until further notice I'm activating my 'go-on-now' button. Act accordingly! — Nicole HIll Copy Share Image
If you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a daughter, you have to worry… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
She ask me would I ever hit her...yea ill hit cha wit dis LOOOOOOOOOOOONGàDIIIIIIIIIIIICKàªlol¬8==========D — IG:caonte_2_funny Copy Share Image
The first testicular gaurd, the *Cup*, was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means… — Harriet Morgan Copy Share Image
Sometimes you follow the rules, sometimes you break the rules, and sometimes, if you're lucky....you MAKE the rules!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dont ask for a blow job because the word job makes it sound like its strenuous physical labor. Instead, I ask… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Maybe there won't be stars, maybe there won't be retweets, but by God there'll be slying! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know your addicted to facebook when you keep looking if anyone likes your status... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you turn the page and realize that you have no idea what you just read — Me Copy Share Image
When you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it's either a new car...or a new girl! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fuck itself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean?… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If mom was here she would be subtweeting all over the place stuff like : who's gonna buy groceries : who's gonna… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The rarest sight in the world is a woman who is happy with photographs of herself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget. — Aicel Copy Share Image
Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor because I own Band-aids. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder how people would react if I walked into Sea World with a fishing pole. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
