My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't think people know the difference between someone giving you a compliment and someone being thirsty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How much cocaine does Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men... — Caitlin Bower Copy Share Image
Your iPhone 5 will be the perfect device to play with while you're waiting in line for the iPhone 5S. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I watched a dog chase its tail for 10 minutes and I thought to myself, Wow dogs are easily entertained Then I… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're addicted to Call of Duty when you go to work, take your boss's suitcase, make beeping sounds, and then… — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
Since today is Valentine's day, I was wondering if you'd like to go back to MySpace, so I can Twitter with your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when my parents never let me go anywhere and then ask me why I'm always on the computer. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Why do we call it truth or dare when we all know it's really Who do you like or Awkward sexual task. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
