Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 109

When going to work has become a nice break from Facebook, it's safe to say you're a Facebook junkie.

— Anonymous

This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away.

— Anonymous

Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

— Anonymous

A female saying that she doesn't like attention is like a guy saying he doesn't like getting blowjobs. -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent.

— Nikhil Saluja

My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.

— Anonymous

If I'm what I eat, then why isn't me saying meow?

— Nikhil Saluja

Humility is a virtue until one becomes proud of it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Plagiarism is a warm gun.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sisters always want back after giving, they never give and leave.

— Jinzo

Twitter: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.

— Nikhil Saluja

Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU…

— Nikhil Saluja

If I had said everything I was thinking out loud,I would definitely have lost my job a LONG time ago.

— Abhishek Tiwari

You u need in this world is love...and a little chocolate now and than wont hurt.

— Lula Starr

Laughter is always the best medicine... unless you have diarrhea.

— Anonymous

I am sure the devil is hot as hell.

— Nikhil Saluja

I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint.

— Nikhil Saluja

If your shorts look like they're being eaten by your butt, they're not meant for you.

— Anonymous

It's funny if someone post something in their wall with nonsense just to catch up the attention of others.

— Mitch Alapan

Your girlfriend has a brilliant rape alarm. Her face.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some people should have two Facebook accounts. One for each face.

— Cuts And Scars

Let love comes to you, be patient. In fairy tales they don't find each other until the last page.

— Anonymous

Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A person who never really becomes good, he is merely more proficient.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dear Facebook, Pretty Soon, They'll All Abandon You, Too. Sincerely, MySpace

— Toni Watson