They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A girl asks you what you need. The woman knows and gives you what you want. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I started pooping 10 times a day because it's where I come up with my best tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Six things we say at school.Im tired. Im cold. I dont get it. Im hungry.What time is it? I wanna go home. — Aalaynah Thompson Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, SMART, A man who buys his wife such fine china that she will never trust him to do the dishes; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what would be fun? To have a set of twins, name them Dumbo and Goofy and then just sit back… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I made sure it was nice & warm, demolished some of it & got tired of eating it so I swallowed the… — Syoung Copy Share Image
Sucks when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache, and suddenly she's not your friend anymore!!! ~Sean Stafford — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Apparently twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah I remember the time when I was a vampire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thinks its funny when girls use slutty profile pics to get attention, might as well have a status that says my shit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a bra is called an 'over the shoulder bolder holder' then would you call men's underwear 'under the but nut hut' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best kinds of laughter: 1) Laughing so hard that your laugh becomes silent. 2) Feeling a 6 pack coming. 3) Tears in your eyes. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
