If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day you will pay the price if you're… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Two fat ladies, 88! Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course... they're altogether a higher class of… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
There's never any graffiti in the hotel. Although in the Gents a couple of weeks ago I did see someone had drawn… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
The great thing is that the funny side of getting old is fuel for my comedy. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Convoy? Michael, you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Actually the best thing I did was to get thrown out by my wife. She's living with a fitness instructor. He drinks… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
All those people who go around saying Life begins at forty, they're notable by their absence. The nerve. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
People come up to me in supermarkets and demand humour. And the less amusing I am, the more they piss themselves. So… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for these. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I'm 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net! — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
As soon as I see period costume, I turn off. It's like hearing drama on Radio 4. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
A woman wearing a revealing dress will always be sexier than a naked woman. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I like to do movies that provoke rather than reinforce conservative values. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
What terrifies me is that I might somehow endorse that view so people think they don't have to read books anymore. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I think there's as much profundity and wisdom in Shakespeare, more so in fact, than those in the Bible. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I don't apologize for my behavior anymore. Whatever I do or don't do shouldn't matter. Moral certainty is dangerous. Moral certainty is what makes… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I'm really encouraged by Pope Francis, because I think his attitude is totally laudable. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
Knowing about comedy has helped me with the drama. To see people laugh, it's like there are moments of catharsis in the middle of… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
I happen to have a public profile. Ditto newspaper editors. It's a result of what I do, not an end. — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
