Funny Quotes · Page 1,534

You cannot write unless you write much.

— W. Somerset Maugham

It's funny how quickly human beings adapt.

— Zal Batmanglij

What color is the sky in your world Cena. You're talking what Wrestlmania needs to be, but allow me to demenstrate what's…

— Ron Killings

Truth is a seed hidden in the days until watered by what life brings us.

— Mark Nepo

I truly believe your associate's degree will help you get a better shitty job.

— Anonymous

To know and not to act is not to know.

— Wang Yangming

The most real of all splendors are not in outward things, they are within us.

— Honore de Balzac

It's funny, we all really, really got along. I don't know how it was in years past but this year, I was…

— LaToya London

God is triune, and it is as triune that he is so good and desirable.

— Michael Reeves

When I say something funny, I don’t laugh, so my friends are always like, ‘Hahahahaaaa!’ so people know. When I’m not with…

— Blake Lively

Six Secrets to Being a Successful Humorist 1. Be scared, unhappy, and an outcast as a kid. 2. Drop out of high…

— Bruce McCall

“Ian was too Captain America for my taste.”

— Gloria Craw

The highest calling of leadership is to unlock the potential of others.

— Carly Fiorina

It is said that gifts persuade even the gods.

— Euripides

Don't worry if you're single. Godis looking at you right now saying I'm saving this one for someone special.

— Anonymous

Stress here, stress there, stress everywhere.

— Joantonette Morano

People often think that you have a sense of humor because you think that life is funny. Life isn't funny at all.…

— Howard Jacobson

They only live, who live for others, the rest are more dead than alive.

— Swami Vivekananda

Instrument flying is an unnatural act probably punishable by God.

— Gordon Baxter

You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.

— Elaine Stritch

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in…

— Rodney Dangerfield

I called the hotel operator and she said, "How can I direct your call?" I said, "Well, you could say 'Action!', and…

— Mitch Hedberg

I've always been very wary of debates involving women.

— Tony Abbott

Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.

— Mickey Mantle

That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.

— Charles M. Schulz