The average person living to age 70 has 613, 000 hours of life. This is too long a period not to have fun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a man tells you that he's fallen in love at first sight with you, just punch him. It's just another way… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They created a robot because it can work consistently. If you're looking for a consistent partner, you know what you need — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Having a pet is the reason I only spend 97% of the day thinking about myself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All I want in life is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Opening a test paper and seeing the first question and thinking ...Yup, I'm screwed — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People who use Tabs to make phone calls, might use an axe to cut vegetables. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Shout out to all the people born in 1928 celebrating their 21st birthday! Happy Leap Day! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry not being allowed to work from home has forced you to adjust your masturbation schedule. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Foursquare asks where I am. The internet has turned into a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every Christmas I only buy gifts for friends when I find out they already got me one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
99% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a tower about to jump. If you are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you don't go out on the limb... how are you going to get the good apple? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It takes 64 muscles of the face to make a frown, and only 13 to make a smile. Why work overtime? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Jello has set the sun has risen today is the day we get out of prison — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd like to use Friendship Day to reassure you that you're not the one member of our group no one likes... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the end of a cigarette is called a butt , does that mean u suck ass ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing ruins a beautiful summer day like seeing a hipster wearing a winter hat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I miss slamming my phone shut when I got off a call mad, not poking my screen in an angry rage...... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
