Facebook status Quotes · Page 27

I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn't home when you called".

— Anonymous

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only things in life you regret, Are the risks that you didn't take.

— Anonymous

Dont do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor aint.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

Opening a pizza box: Your eyes instantly scan for the biggest slices.

— Anonymous

Late night conversations are usually the ones that mean the most.

— Mhaj

U learn mo bout a person at da end of a relationship than @ da beginning

— IG:Catone_2funny

If the Olympics were more like the Hunger Games I think I'd probably watch more of it.

— Anonymous

Its a crazy day when guys wanna see a movie about a teddy bear and girls wanna see a movie about strippers.

— Anonymous

Instead of getting periods once a month, can girls just get a text from mother nature saying 'You're not pregnant have a…

— Anonymous

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't lose your dignity and self respect trying to make people love and appreciate you, when they just aren't capable...!!!

— Anonymous

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

— Anonymous

My boyfriend isn't allowed to watch E.T, why the fuck does he wanna watch his ex girlfriend find her way home.

— Anonymous

Whenever someone spells something wrong, I always look to see if the two letters are close on the keyboard.

— Ronald Oliver

Making changes to make my life better. So, if you don't hear from me then you are probably one of those changes.…

— Brii Ann

May your life be like toilet paper... Long and useful

— Anonymous

If Facebook was school I swear I'd have perfect attendance.

— Anonymous

Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me.

— Anonymous

When you're in the shower, suddenly everyone needs to get in the bathroom.

— Anonymous

Halloween is just like any other day, people still just pretending to be something they're not.

— Anonymous

I always wanna hear the truth as longest its exactly what I wanna hear.

— Anonymous

You dont have to like me, Im not a Facebook status.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when your mom is washing the dishes, and you put one in the sink.

— Anonymous

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

— Anonymous

I hate when I go to smell something and accidentally touch it with my nose.

— Anonymous

The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns.

— Nikhil Saluja

Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish I can delete you from my mind as easy as deleting you from Facebook.

— Blondie

You thought you were a nothing, but you're really a something, which makes you an anything.

— Anonymous

Emotion is a universal language that everyone speaks and understands

— Anonymous

Too many good girls single, too many hoes taken.

— Anonymous

EX Means: Thanks for the EXperience. Our time has EXpired, though. Now EXit my life.

— Toni Watson

My relationship is like iphone 6, it doesn't exist but someday it will..!!!

— Anonymous

It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.

— Anonymous

Darling you're so far up your own backside you need a sat nav to help you out of it

— Sparki Dee

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

— Nikhil Saluja

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

— Nikhil Saluja