OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
